How adorable is this chore chart?  From Camillestyles.com

My older child at 5 is probably overdue in the chores and an allowance department. Most of my friends started their money matters talks/routines with their kidlettes lot earlier.  I can’t say exactly when a child is ready to shoulder responsibilities for an allowance, but for me, when the “I want that” clearly fails to translate as hard earned $money$ in his head and he keeps thinking money just materializes from nowhere, it was time.  I have been thinking about how to incorporate chores into my children’s daily lives all summer.  Now that the school year is upon us and our weekly schedules have been laid out for the most part, making a chart to visualize these chores and rewards seemed fitting.

Both my children have piggy-banks at home for found pennies and birthday/holiday gift money.  They also each have college savings accounts that we contribute monthly to and separate Coogan accounts for when they do print work.  The bank accounts will remain untouched, but lately my 5 year old has been dipping into his piggy bank for quarters to play arcade games or, like the other day, he spent about $30.00 to buy a new toy without even knowing how much he had initially and consequently no idea how much was left after the plunder occurred.  (I counted it out dollar for dollar and he wasn’t even paying attention.)

I don’t think he knows enough about what currency actually is to appreciate the value of it, nor does he know where it comes from and how it is exchanged.  He sees me paying for groceries with a credit card and asks occasional questions about money along the lines of, “Mommy, where can I find money?”  Or, “How do you and Daddy get money?”  I think he understands that you need money to buy things, but he most certainly doesn’t know the 2 most important things about it.  Respect for it’s value and the hard work that goes into earning it.

After a long and tedious explanation, the poor kid walked away looking very bewildered. The next day after he had slept on the information he received he asked, “How much money did grammy give me for my birthday?  And is it enough to buy that _______ lego set?” Grrrr…  He didn’t get my message.

It’s probably never too early to teach and reiterate the importance of saving and to respect the money one earns.  Truly understanding the full concept of how money works is surely a difficult topic for any child to wrap his/her head around.  I mean, some people don’t get the vital concepts of spending wisely as adults!  But I don’t want to shy away from talking about it openly because it’s an important lesson for life.  I foresee many, many more conversations about money with my littles over the years.  I’ll just have to cut out the difficult jargon and dumb it down to kid-speak next time.

For now, we are working on understanding values.  A penny is one cent.  A nickel is 5 pennies…  That lego set you want so badly is $55.69 so that’s how many pennies?  Yes, that would be five thousand five hundred and sixty nine pennies.  I don’t see the need to give the kid a huge allowance, but as a way of teaching him that a diligent and consistent work ethic  = monetary rewards, is where some chores will come into play.  The kid is going into kindergarten, so I know I can’t expect a whole lot of perfection or nor expect him to pull tons of weight in house work department, but I think a few simple daily/weekly tasks is appropriate.

The obvious ones that even the 2 year old should participate in:

1. Make your bed every morning to the best of your ability.
2. Clean up your toys each night.

A few more I have in mind:

1. Set the table for family dinner.
2. Take out the trash.
3. Water some plants.

Just until last week, I was going to add: 4. Feed the fish…  But unfortunately our beta, Mr. Blue Fish met his demise and was ceremoniously buried in the front yard so that one is out…

Make your bed and you get a nickel.  Make your bed for 7 days in a row and you make 35 cents.  In a week of completing all your different chores, you could possibly make a few dollars.  And whaddya know?  After a few months, (snicker) you may be able to save five thousand five hundred and sixty nine cents for that (stupid) lego set!  Awesome right?

His reaction?  “Uhhhhh, how many days is a few months?”

Bwahahaha!

I don’t know how to put a proper value on things that should technically be done without getting paid.  I mean, if I put a value to all the shit I do on a daily basis as a mom, I’d be a frickin’ millionaire!  I’m starting slow and low with my little boy.  5 cents is nothing really, but I want him to work for it and I don’t want it to come easy.  We’ll try this.  Perhaps it will instill a tiny seed of creating a budding good work ethic for his future.

Trying to teach about counting every cent earned.  Because cents add up.

-K

I tend to loathe character shirts.  You know, the one’s you see at Target and Old Navy.

With my first child, he doesn’t care what he wears.  He never has.  I put an outfit on his bed, he puts it on and doesn’t ask questions.  (Because he has other things to worry about.)  Yes, he has Star Wars shirts and a few vintage superhero shirts, but for the most part, the kid lets me curate his wardrobe.  Actually, he’d rather be naked most of the time… but at 5, he knows better because naked is getting to be a bit inappropriate…

My 2 year old on the other hand…  He cares.  Why are kids so different when it comes to things like this?  Every morning, it’s a chore.  He has to pick his own shirt (usually the same 4 or 5 on rotation)  As of late, it’s been Thomas the Train, Dinosaurs, Shark Shirt, or the Star Wars character shirt.  I did not purchase any of these items.  I usually stick to solids or patterns.  We have melt-downs when the shirt he wants is in the wash and I force him to wear something mom-approved.  Please tell me that this phase passes! Quickly…

So please, do not gift my children clothes featuring Paw Patrol or Ninja Turtles or Pokemon or any of that shit because I’m the one who suffers.  Yesterday, #2 wore a TMNT pajama top all day because I didn’t have it in me to fight the fight.  He was as happy as a clam in the black, long sleeve piece of crap which reads, “NINJAS NEVER SLEEP.”  Mind you, it was 80 degrees out!  I shouldn’t care so much, but I do…

I suppose I should just be glad that I don’t have a girly-girl who wants to wear princess dresses to the super market, but the capes and masks are equally annoying.  Spiderman doesn’t even wear a cape does he?  Oh yes he does!!  And he climbs all over the cart in true Spidey fashion and gets forlorn looks from strangers.  Maybe the princess would be better???  At least she’d probably sit in the cart nicely.

I keep checking the tags on the backs of his character t-shirts to see if he’s outgrown things by size.  We know it’s really about fit, but I can’t help it.  Because seriously, that Thomas the Train shirt has got to go.

Wait… does it say 18-24 months!?!?

PERFECT!!  Because he’s technically a 2T!!

On the agenda today?  Goodwill drop.

-K

I think transitioning into a big kid room of their own is something kids need to be emotionally ready for.  Changing a room up is exciting but it also means getting rid of comforts that children have grown accustomed to as a baby or toddler.  I found that when we initially moved our children into their own room, asking their opinion in the matter was a huge part of preparing them to take ownership of their domain.  If you are like me and have a theme and look in mind, warm their minds up to the idea of what it’s going to look like and ask them to help in making smaller decisions.  Offer simple choices and let them decide on a few things.  What color sheets they want, or what their favorite things are that will carry over.  If their walls are going to be a certain color, let them pick out the color from shades you can live with.  If their decor is going to follow a parent-directed theme, let them choose their accent pillows.  My kids love choices and I wanted to make sure they felt they had a say in the process of creating their personal space.

Currently at the ages of 5 and 2, my kids share a room and will continue to share a room in the new house.  They are getting a black and white room in the proposed plans. They have no say in this. But they will individually have choices in what books and toys they want to keep and what they want their individual accent colors will be.

I think another great offering to ease the transition is to do a few DIY projects together (monitored of course) so they feel they had a part in making something useful specifically for their space.  My kids helped to paint pre-existing storage cubbies for their toys and picked fabrics for matching pillow cases I made.  Ownership and pride of place is just as important for kids as it is for adults.  Make them feel proud of their participation.  I want the nighttime rituals and other activities that occur routinely, to become memories specific to their childhood room and the choices they made in making it just so.

I say, start small.  Don’t overwhelm.  Even the simple choice between two options is still a choice in their minds and you show them that their voice matters; because they do and should matter.  In many ways, in this world of over abundant options for everything, even we adults get overwhelmed by decision making.  I think it’s important to teach that nothing is necessarily ‘final’ and most importantly, no decision is ever ‘wrong’.  There are always ways to make modifications to a decision once made and that’s okay.  Steer your littles to take charge in the smallest ways like their rooms and hopefully soon they will voice their opinions in bigger ways.  I’m not talking about the child whom declares that, “from today, I denounce vegetables!” but more along the lines of, “I want to drive a garbage truck when I grow up!”  I think that’s an important lesson for any child no matter how young.  The power to say yes, or no, the power to see that their opinion on things matters greatly not only to the immediate family, but to society at large.  I believe the confidence to make good choices comes from empowerment and taking pride in themselves within the things they can control.  I want to help my kids make good life choices now so that later down the line, when life gets tough at times, they feel they have the tools to figure things out on their own based on what they believe is important to themselves individually.  I have started with what I know I can help them achieve in their own little space in this world – their very own room.

Trying my best to raise empowered children who make good choices in life.

-K